Getting gradually disappointed with where shooting is heading. 

I still love the sport, 

But I'm losing the motivation to go for training.

I miss the old days. 

Now it's as if I don't even know who is in the team who isn't, never spoken to the bulk of the freshies. 

And it's as if no one cares about that, no one thinks it's important.

On the surface shooting is an individual sport, 

But I believe it goes beyond.

Knowing your team's strengths and weaknesses makes a different.

Hell, just knowing the people in the team makes a difference.

I miss the days where we'll head for dinner together before training, 

The days where going for training is not just about holding your gun and firing pellets for 2 hrs but also getting to connect with the people, getting to joke around and fool around with them after a long day at school.

The team had a bond back then.

We were friends. 

Friends who studied together.

Friends who spent nights chasing a frisbee under the stars.

Friends who were crazy enough to attempt to play badminton in the insane haze of 2013,

only to give up and play mahjong in the comfort of an air-conditioned room.

Friends who spent time together.

Now? 

I can't even call the freshies my acquiantances because I don't even know what they look like.

I miss the old shooting days.

I miss everyone from those days.

Chris, Huiting, XQ.

Hell, even clement because at the very least I know what his personality was like. 

The freshies of now are nothing more than just mere names to me.

I regret that I didn't fight harder for the team.

But then I don't know what else I can do. 

Maybe it's time to let go.