Hello 2014.

2013 had been a year of personal growth and understanding.

And more importantly, I've learnt so much about love.

Through the failure of my relationship I understood how much I had to learn about love. 

I saw how selfish I had become in the course of my relationship,

I took everything and gave nothing. 

I recognised what a terrible person I'd become out of this relationship, that I can get away with things because I expected him to let me.

Most importantly,

I recognised that to a certain extent it seems like I'm using him, 

And that wasn't fair to him.

And for that very reason, I had to let go.

I had to because I didn't like the way I had become. 

It's funny how I spent the first few hours of 2014 talking about love with Jason and TW, and then watched the movie Fireproof with Michelle for the last few hours of the first day of 2014.

And the funniest thing was how seemingly unrelated they may seem, but yet they actually are related.

The movie was about a man's journey to salvage his marriage with his estranged wife, 

And what really struck me in the movie was the whole concept of fireproofing your marriage. 

People tend to associate fireproof with avoiding fire. 

But they forget that fireproof doesn't mean that the fire won't ever come, but that when it does you will be able to withstand it. 

Watching the movie reminded me of how TW said he was disheartened by the idea of love because all the failures in relationships.

To him, marriage eventually becomes one of obligation rather than love.

I agreed with him, but that movie made me realise that marriages take work. 

People get married expecting things to magically work out,

When that isn't true. 

Love takes working at. 

It takes both parties to put in the effort to maintain. 

And the sad part is, people tend to forget that. 

They tend to forget that when as you put on your wedding ring, you say your vows.

"For better and for worse; in sickness and in health; for richer and for poorer."

But when they said those vows, most people only mean for better. 

Jason said it's stupid to see couples fight over trivial matters.

But it's in these fights that they gain a better understanding of their relationship and their individual likes and dislikes.

After all, a relationship without any fights is unnatural. 

A couple can fight,

but most importantly it's knowing what should or should not be said in the heat of the moment. 

People always say things that they regret later on because they are too caught up in their emotions. 

Probably why Day 1 of the Love Dare involves refraining from saying anything negative to your loved ones, and holding your tongue if you have nothing good to say. 

Silly as it sounds, the movie made me believe that marriages are made out of love and can continue to be sustained on love. 

You just need to work at it.

You can't love someone because you can't give him/her what you don't have. 

You can't truly love someone until you understood what love really is. 

Choose to love, not because you get some sort of reward out of it.

Make the decision to love someone whether he/she deserves it or not, because that's the whole idea of love.

Seeking to love someone wholeheartedly and unconditionally is never easy.

Year after year I make many different yet generic new year's resolutions which I never fulfil. 

Mainly because I don't know how to begin. 

"Better daughter, sister and friend"?

How do you define "better"? 

Better by whose standards?

So, this year, my resolution is simple.

Love.

I seek to love each and everyone of the people in my life wholeheartedly and unconditionally.

To love my friends and family without asking for anything in return, without questioning whether they deserve it or not.

Not an easy resolution, but I believe an important one. 

Especially since my New Year's was so centred around discussions of love that it seems like a sign to me.

So here you are,

my resolution.

So what's your resolution for 2014?