It's over.

3years of my shooting life finally concluded today.

A Div.

To say I was disappointed was an understatement,

I wasn't aiming to win any medal because right from the start I knew that we had little if not no chance whatsoever.

Yet somehow in my subconscious mind I expected more from myself.

During debrief today,

when Ms Fau mentioned putting in a 110%,

I started to question myself,

did I really put in a 110% for A div?

I remembered reflecting one night upon shooting,

and I remember a little voice in my head telling me

that all I fought so hard for will come to naught.

Why bother if all it is going to lead to is heartbreak?

Today, during my shoot,

that doubt came back again.

361.

Perhaps I should be contented that at the very least I didn't fall below a 360.

Yet then again I had wanted so badly to shoot a new highscore,

something that I would be proud of getting even if we didn't win any medal.

Yet before the shoot I promised myself that no matter what happens,

no regrets.

I won't regret anything,

joining shooting, switching to pistol, going for the China trip, switching back to rifle.

These 3 years in MJShooting have been an amazing experience for me.

I've made new friends, strengthened friendships and discovered things about myself that I've never known before.

For that,

I am thankful.

Thankful for the 2008 seniors for guiding me through that start of my shooting journey.

Thankful for knowing the 2009 batch and forging strong friendships with them.

And I'm really thankful for meeting the 2010 batch.

Thank you for making me like I belonged, like I was a part of you guys.

If there were really any regrets,

I must confess that I feel guilty towards to pistol girls,

especially Joyce.

I'm sorry that I wasn't able to fight alongside them till the very end.

I'm sorry that I chose to give up pistol just to ensure that I don't get thrown out of the school team.

I admit,

at the point of time when Ms Fau offered me the decision to switch,

a part of me wanted to reject her offer, to choose to stay on with the pistol girls.

But the rational part of me, the logical me chose to switch because I clearly know that I don't stand a chance against Kimberley.

In any case,

it's over.

There's no room for regrets,

and I'm not one who will regret anything.

2011 is a letdown.

2012 will be different.

I believe the next batch will be able to save the club,

as long as we put our heart and soul into building their foundations.

It doesn't matter if we have failed this year,

after all mistakes are made so that we can improve.

After A Divs comes another Big A.

A Levels.

Let's work hard together to ace it.