Amazingly, I met Meng Yee in the bus on my way home from a pointless and silly dance prac for open house.
She looks so different it's stunning.
Like she's so much prettier, and there's this sense of confidence that I can sense from her.
Confidence that didn't used to be present in her back in the sec sch days.
It amazes me how different she is, and if she hadn't came up to me to say hi,
I probably would not have recognized her.
I guess JC life did really have a immense impact on her,
and I really admire her courage to make the decision to leave JC.
Not just her, but Nicole too.
To me, it seems that they are able to accomplish what would be the impossible for me.
Meng Yee had the confidence in herself to believe that she will be able to enter SIM.
Nicole had the courage to opt out of the entire rat race itself.
Me?
Looking at them, I feel kinda pathetic.
I clearly know that I would never have the courage to do something like that.
I'll be the typical Singaporean student;
struggle through the various school examinations,
struggle through the GCE A levels,
then what?
Pray and hope for the best.


Makes me wonder,
at the end of the day,
what exactly is all that struggling for?


Meeting Meng Yee also reminded me,
that everytime I meet someone that I haven't met in a long time,
it's usually them recognizing me and approaching me.
Am I that recognizable (didn't change at all)
or am I just forgetful and blur?
Like really, every one of them would come up to me and say hi,
and I would take me a few seconds to realize who they are.
Maybe it's just me getting old.
):


China trip in 2days.
I am really worried now.
I constantly ask myself,
is this the right decision?
Am I making the right choice?
I keep telling myself to not look back.
But I keep worrying that this trip will be a futile waste.


Sometimes,
I think I think too much.