December really sucks.
So much turmoil going on in my life,
And I still have to face irresponsible people like them.


Think I must have really looked very down recently.
My mom also told me that I could always talk to her,
And that even if she can't offer the best advice she can provide a listening ear.
Had to hold back tears when she told me "天塌下来还有你老妈帮你撑".
Made me realise that I have truly unappreciated her.
It's like I'm rushing to grow up and get a life of my own, when there can actually be no where else better than home.


Had a nice long chat with him over whatsapp.
I guess at the end of the day, the people who possibly understood me the most was my mom and him.
We hadn't had the chance to talk much since graduation and after his enlistment,
But yet it feels like he knows exactly what I need and what to say.
Really very touched when he said that he will always be there for me.


At the same time, i'm really thankful for the friends I has in my life.
Thankful for their offerings of help and their subtle efforts I can see to cheer me up.
I must say that my head really is quite screwed up when a friend who is not in shooting offered to help me buy stuff when she was completely under no obligation to do so.
Touched at her effort, and so so disappointed in my head.


In any case, I'm better than this.
Like he said, I do this not because I must, but because I can.
The Jolene Ng of the past would never be affected by such minor matters.
Need to find back the old me that I have somehow lost this year.
I'll find me again.
Just you wait.