Jia Hui passed away last night.

At the age of 19,

she left all of us.

And the worse thing was,

I didn't even get to say goodbye.

I got the news from Xing Hua today.

She had been ill for the past year,

but I hadn't expected her to leave so suddenly.

I kept thinking about her today.

And at some point of time,

I got angry.

Angry at how God could just take her away so suddenly.

Angry at how she had fought so hard and yet in the end it all amounted to nothing.

If God had intended for her to end like this,

why put her through all the disappointment and pain?

Why make her repeat her J1 year?

Why make her advance to J2, then strike her with this illness?

She had been so strong then, choosing to forgo her As last year to retake this year.

All because she didn't want to just take A levels for the sake of taking them.

Even if it meant spending 4 years in JC.

Yet, in the end she got nothing.

And as a friend, I feel terrible.

Supposed to visit her on Friday,

yet I chose not to go in the end just because no one was free to accompany me.

Could have sent her off today,

but didn't because of school.

I'm such a terrible friend,

and the worse was that Xing Hua had told me that it's okay,

and Jia Hui will understand because she's Jia Hui.

And that only makes me feel worse.